Why Are You Not Cheating On Your Partner

Why are you not cheating on your partner? Yes I am asking you. Why don’t you have a side bae? I can hear someone say “Shebi I will have bae first before I can have side bae”. LOL. Okay, you don’t have a bae at the moment but why did you not cheat on the last one? Ahan, you’ve never even had one? Okay, what do you think will stop you from cheating on your spouse when you have one? Of course, I am asking those who plan to be committed to only one person.

A few days ago, a female acquaintance walked up to my friend and I while we were in the middle of a serious discussion. I am saying acquaintance because we belong to the same volunteer group, greet each other and exchange jokes once in a while but don’t even know each other’s last names. Anyway, she walked to us, turned towards my friend like I was not there and said “I like Tiwa”. Ehn? Just like that o. Not with style or scope, no subbing or anything. It didn’t happen behind my back. I didn’t even know how to react. Then, she started laughing, my friend and I joined in the laughter. Not like we knew why she was laughing, but since we decided to be childish, no problem. I actually wanted to continue the conversation but my friend, trying to make the situation less awkward, changed the subject as the laughter started dying down.

Well, not like this is the first time sha o. As per #teamfresh #frosh #cuteman #cooldude #TDH #cutedimples #beardgang #lashcash #britishaccent #givememorehashtags, you get na. I can’t shout at all. The ladies just can’t resist. *wakes up to my mother’s sprinkling of water* LOL.

Anyway, a few hours after, I remembered the incident and I started thinking. This is a very beautiful, attractive girl who pays attention to her dressing (I have noticed her shoes a number of times at the group meetings). My fiancée is hundreds of miles away. This other young lady has already confessed to liking me, so no need to do a lot of work trying to psych her. She doesn’t know whether I have someone already or not and she doesn’t have to know. In fact, she might not mind the fact that I have someone. Why am I not following up this case? I mean! Why don’t I just have fun cheat a little?

Is it the fear of God or maybe the fear of my fiancée? It is that I am just a coward? Or maybe I do not want to spend extra money that I do not need to spend? Am I scared that people may see me with the girl and report to my in-laws? Maybe it is because I do not want to start deleting pictures or hiding my phone up and down. Could it be because I really care about bae and would not want to hurt her? Or I am a nice guy and I do not want to lead an innocent lady on? It may be because I would not want that to be done to any of my sisters? Or maybe I just don’t have game and I am only hiding behind being a good boy.

Cheating is so prevalent in our society such that if you are not cheating presently, you will most likely know someone who is. I am sure we are aware of the different shades of cheating ranging from emotional cheating to the physical one. I define emotional cheating as being in another relationship or “situationship” where you long for and have a deep emotional connection with someone else apart from your partner, and that someone else is not God! Physical cheating is not difficult to understand – physical intimacy with someone else. Technology has created even newer methods for people to indulge in extra-curricular activities. Recently, a colleague at work sent munched pages of his wife sexting with another man back to her, just a few minutes after her escapade.

Some people have argued that monogamous relationships are not realistic. They believe it is not possible to stay with only one person. “One individual cannot possibly satisfy all your needs”, they say. There are theories about the 80 – 20 rule. If your partner provides 80% of what you need, then you need someone else to provide the remaining 20%.  Some say while a man may be good enough as a wonderful father and a financial provider, he may not be a good friend, so a woman might see herself going to look for emotional support elsewhere. Some say bae lives miles away, so you cannot blame me, I am a human being and body no be wood*. These and many more are the reasons people give for infidelity.

But, in today’s post, I want to address those who do not cheat, for whatever reason. We would address other aspects of infidelity some other time. We, at Maytermorphorsis, want to use this opportunity to conduct a social study. We want to know the real motive behind sticking to just one partner. Have you ever been in a relationship and did not “look out”? Have you cheated before but decided to stop (before you were caught)? If the opportunity presents itself, do you think you will pass on the offer? Why? Let us know what’s In Your Mind by clicking the link below and participating in a survey. Don’t worry, it is a short one and your identity is NOT going to be known even by the people who have created the survey. Results will be posted here. Let us see if we can be agents of social change. In any case, do not forget to share and drop your comments.

https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/7VCM27D

“body no be wood” – Loosely interpreted to mean “I have physical needs”

About The Author

“Tiwatayo Lasebikan (code name “Dr Lash”) is a medical doctor with training and experience in psychiatry, psychology and counselling. His goal is to help people lead emotionally and mentally healthier lives.

“In Your Mind” is where Dr Lash uses his experience to help people dealing with mental health and other emotional issues. Dr Lash has recognised that there’s a dearth of information on the importance of mental health and he shall use this medium to educate us about mental health issues and how our attitudes, behaviours and thinking affect our emotional well-being.

Dr Lash offers a range of online mental health and counselling services which include relationship counselling, self-esteem and confidence building, stress management, career and work-related counselling, critical events management amongst others. Dr Lash can be reached by email at talktodrlash@gmail.com or via twitter @LashSupport.”

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