Why Do You Cheat?

A few weeks ago, we addressed the topic of cheating from a particular angle (here) and asked why some people do not cheat in relationships. We also did a study and revealed the results (here). However, a lot of readers felt marginalized. They asked why I would write a post for faithful people and leave out the unfaithful ones who are actually the majority of the population. So due to popular demand, we have a sequel to the original post. We are here to ask, ‘why do we cheat?’

Some studies have shown that close to 60 per cent of married individuals will engage in infidelity at one point in their marriage. I believe this statistic may even be higher between unmarried people. To understand what this means, check through your blackberry messenger contacts. If you spot 30 people who are either married or in a relationship, as many as 20 may be cheating. The more diversified your BBM contacts are, the truer this statistic will be. People engage in affairs for different reasons and it is important for us to highlight those reasons in order to put you on guard.

Anita is the wife of a football star, and her  husband caught her cheating a few months ago. The Liverpool and England footballer earns an equivalent of thirty-two million Naira weekly (yes, weekly) yet his wife was caught having an affair with a man who earns approximately twenty-five thousand Naira weekly. Definitely, for Anita, love in a relationship is much more than money. When her husband discovered the affair, he was disappointed that the woman he had been with since he was 16years old, even when he didn’t have any money, could betray him.

Charles is in his early thirties. His wife was the second woman he had ever been with. Even though he and his ex were together for 6 years, he never considered cheating. In fact, he thought “only heartless men cheat”. Now four years into marriage, he has found himself in a situation he could have never imagined. Charles leaves home as early as 6 a.m. and leaves work as late as 10 p.m. At work, he found himself spending more with Ngozi. In the beginning, they were honestly just friends who shared similar interests in programming and website designing. They shared lunch, shared laughs, shared secrets and did not know when they also shared a kiss.

Tina got married 18 months ago. She honestly thought Koye was the man of her dreams. During their courtship, he always seemed to there. They had all the fun in the world and extra. Suddenly, they got married and he became the “man of the house”. He started dishing out commands. He refused to come home early. There was little space for conversation in the house and gradually but surely, they started to drift apart. Tina missed her friend, lover and husband, Koye. He was her best friend, but clearly, not anymore. Tina found a new best friend in Adbul, the simple unassuming guy who owned the shop next to hers. Tina will never have anything physical with Abdul, but his companionship and presence provides the happiness she lacks at home.

Ope is the definition of the Yoruba demon. He just loves the thrill that comes with chasing ladies and being chased by them. Last week, he was at my clinic to receive treatment for a perforated tympanic membrane. His ear drum was injured when Bisi slapped him. He was dating Bisi and her sister at the same time. You can imagine the anger when they exchanged pictures and discovered they had been swooning over the same guy. Ope has learnt the heart and art of dealing with three, four or five ladies at the same time. He says variety is the spice of life.

The last story I will give is that of Sylvester. He had been in many relationships with ladies and having sex was a normal thing. He met beautiful Arianna at a party and he started experiencing butterflies in his tummy. He approached her and not long after, they were in a relationship. He was seriously amazed when she told him she was waiting till marriage to have sex. He was impressed with the decision but he was not happy about it. He was in love with her and he did not want to pressure her. He decided to outsource sex. When she found out he was having sex with other people and accosted him, he said “It is just sex, nothing more”.

These are some of the reasons people cheat of their partners. Some do it for financial reasons, some for emotional reasons, some for sex or some just because they can. So let us do another social study. Why do you cheat? Okay, you do not cheat but you know people who do. Use style to send this post to your husband or to your babe that you are suspecting ( I pity you. I am not there. LOL.) The link to the survey is below. I promise it is short and it would be worth your time. Do not forget to comment and share the post.

Please take the survey here.

About The Author

“Tiwatayo Lasebikan (code name “Dr Lash”) is a medical doctor with training and experience in psychiatry, psychology and counselling. His goal is to help people lead emotionally and mentally healthier lives.

“In Your Mind” is where Dr Lash uses his experience to help people dealing with mental health and other emotional issues. Dr Lash has recognised that there’s a dearth of information on the importance of mental health and he shall use this medium to educate us about mental health issues and how our attitudes, behaviours and thinking affect our emotional well-being.

Dr Lash offers a range of online mental health and counselling services which include relationship counselling, self-esteem and confidence building, stress management, career and work-related counselling, critical events management amongst others. Dr Lash can be reached by email at talktodrlash@gmail.com or via twitter @LashSupport.”

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